Enduring is proving to be the most difficult aspect of the semester. I find myself wishing it was all over (especially this semester) and that I was able to be going on and starting my next classes but that desire is tempered with the fact that I still have finals for most (okay all of my classes except Chemistry Lab which I did last week and I am fairly confident I did well). So I trudge on, trying to re-learn (or in some cases learn for the first time) certain aspects of every subject that I had this semester. The next 5 days are going be full to say the absolute least. I am really tired, not necessarily physically tired but tired mentally. I have been hitting it so hard since I started the semester that these last final days are definitely the most difficult. I need to come up with a strategy for next semester so that the end of the semester will not be quite so taxing on me. I have already identified my weaknesses from this semester, some of which are obvious and some of which only I would know. I think the overall key to my success is going to be learning something so well the first time that when it comes time for finals it is just a review. I also know that taking two math classes was a pretty unintelligent thing to do. Even if I could do that again, I wouldn’t simply because I know how difficult it was to take two at the same time at this level. I am fairly sure that my next semester will go a little smoother as I won’t have quite the learning (or re-learning) curve that I had this semester because I am going to continue in my studies over the break so that I don’t lose any momentum. I think that pushing myself when no one is there to push will be the key to my success.
I am also frustrated by the fact that all my friends are significantly younger than me. I know this has nothing to do with my degree but it affects me none-the-less. I know that life isn’t lived in a vacuum (nor should it be) but being a social person it is frustrating because I am very much the outsider when I try it integrate with those I am around the most. All of these things combine to make it very lonely. I am doing better now than I was with the whole lonely thing but I still crave that friendship, that closeness that comes with having friends. I am not distracted by them (okay a little but not enough to be worried about) but find I wish I had friends that shared my values and my beliefs. I can not tell you how important having the right friends is to someone struggling to live the gospel. I am going to work on attending church more regularly so that I can start building lasting friendships with the type of people that will help me keep my standards (or build them back up whichever way you want to go with it) instead of succumbing to the baser level of standards that my current friends consistently demonstrate. Well, I need to get some serious studying done so I’ll keep you posted as the week progresses because I will start to have more time and I am sure you are all eagerly awaiting to see how I did on my finals.
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