I have been thinking a lot lately on the subject of judgment (or prejudice if you will). In my life I have been falsely judged on several occasions. I won’t go into the details because they are unimportant. I would like to discuss how judgments hurt other people. You see when I have been falsely judged it made me question myself and what I was about. It was as though I was guilty of a crime of which I did not commit. The worst part of what happened to me was that once I had been accused of the deed, it became much easier to actually commit the “crime” for which I was accused. I eventually did do what I was accused of which made it worse of course but at the same time no one would believe me in the first place that I didn’t do what I was accused of. Growing up as a child I was trusted by my parents. I told the truth. When I got older for some reason people started mistrusting me even though I was still telling the truth. I still don’t understand why. What do you do when no one believes you or worse yet accuses you of something when you have done nothing wrong? Because this has happened to me I can speak from a fair amount of understanding on what it does to someone. I was perfectly happy and had quite a bit in my life. I descended down a path that took me years to come back from. I am finally back but it has been such a difficult struggle that I can’t imagine going down that path again. Now don’t get me wrong I have done nothing illegal or of an illicit nature, but I have had some minor indiscretions in my life of which paying the consequences has been quite painful. I can’t imagine having to pay for a “crime” of any notability. I am frustrated because I am currently being subjected to judgments that I do not deserve and I have no way of correcting. I am being discriminated against because of my age, and or marital status. I cannot help how old I am nor can I help the fact that I am divorced. My wife left me, it was her choice. I can’t compel someone to do something against their will. I would have stayed married if she would have chosen the like. She felt that being single was more “fun” than being married. It wasn’t personal; she would have divorced anyone she was married to. Unfortunately I am still suffering the repercussions of that today. I am not saying I am a victim here; I have grown in ways that I never thought possible since the divorce. I am a better person because of it yet for some people it seems as though the simple act of being divorced automatically means you are broken or incapable of having a meaningful relationship. I am who I am today because of the sum whole of my experiences. I like who I am. Why would I change what happened to me when the outcome has been very positive in my opinion? The simple answer is that would be stupid to change my experiences simply to suit other people. That isn’t to say that I don’t still need to grow in my life but who I am right now, well I am good enough. I struggle of course but this is natural, this isn’t an abnormal thing. I know it has taught me a great deal about judgments. I strive my very best to withhold my opinion until I have evidence to back it up (*As a side note perhaps this will make me a good lawyer). I don’t always succeed but I do my best. I try to give others the same “benefit of the doubt” that I would want if I were in their shoes. Why is treating others as you would want to be treated such a difficult concept? Why can’t others believe in me the very best as opposed to the very worst? I wonder what this world would be like if we tried to view things through the eyes of others instead of our own closed minded and narrow views. How much more patience would there be if we were able to look empathetically through each other’s eyes? I think on these things because this is what I try to do with others. I guess this kind of comes back to my blog about understanding. I hope that I can learn more from all of this. I hope others can think about times when they have passed judgment incorrectly. I hope that if you have that you would approach the person and ask them for their forgiveness. I think this world would be a better place if this were a reality.
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